Heard A New Joke Today, I Think?

So today I'm giving this new guy the 15 minute special, which is one of the new promotions here at Jenny Mantler Enterprises, where we aim to please, but insist on payment up front. Sorry I need plug my business, or I will be our only employee forever LOL! Anyways I'm whacking this moron with all my might and he finally covers my face in his man juice. When he's done he tells me real serious like, "10 million of my kids are dying on your face and you aren't trying to save any of them. You're a cold hearted bitch."

Jaime Whalen Back in Saskatoon Baby!

So I decided to go back to Saskatoon to have a late Christmas with my kids. I have to admit I sometimes feel like a bad mother for not spending any time with them. I hope one day they appreciate all that I never did for them. Let it never be said that Jaime Maureen Whalen didn't teach her children how to be independent.

Anyways, here is a quick story before I leave. Last night I decided to have a little party with my man. I know I have many men but at this time of year I like to spend quality time with someone who really cares enough about me to punch me out once in a while. So we are drinkin' the hard stuff, my favorite kind; Absolute Vodka. I say I'm sober forever, but every once in a while I gotta let loose and drink a bit. We drank for hours, until all of a sudden the bottle was almost empty. There was only about 1 shot left. I decided to try something I saw on TV one time. I took the last shot from the bottle up my bum with a funnel! It kinda tickled my ass, I think, but that may have been my man. It really worked and I was flying for a few minutes then Jaime Whalen passed out. Anyways I woke and boy did my ass ever HURT! The worst part is that when I woke up my man thought it would be funny to put his meat puppet in my mouth. I forgot that Vodka always makes his pole smell like ass for some strange reason. It tasted so gross I coulnd't take more than 10 mintues of it.

Jaime Whalen and Jon Wiley; On A Mission

Sometimes smart people do stupid things and other times its stupid people making the best moves. Jaime Whalen is joining forces with Jon Wiley for the latest episode of losers living large. Tonight is the night we are going on a mission to seek and destroy!

Jamie "The Raven" Whalen is Awesome!

Some people bring out the best in Jamie "The Raven" Whalen and most of the time this is because they have the bling. It's not to be materialistic or anything, but if you don't have at least $130 there is no way you are gonna put your trouser troll inside me. This number is somewhat negotiable if I'm fiending for the pipe. Let's be fair though, I have bills to pay and they won't pay themselves will they? Actually they do, all I have to do is complain about them and they go away. This mystic power is called the siren song of Jamie "The Raven" Whalen and it works best on older men who have little control of their second head. I just scream and cry until money appears, sweet huh? I don't know what makes me so bad ass. I don't want to seem vain but I really am quite awesome!

My Pimp Daddy Jon Wiley; The Gangsta Ninja!

Hey Y'All! What up bitches!! Jaime Whalen back again, today I'm stylin' an profilin'with my nigga Jon "Coyote" Wiley who is back to rock me all night long! If any of you are following my new life in Montreal, Jon Wiley is the man who puts my ass to work, making the bling so we can smoke our thing! Some days I gotta admit I'm a bit lazy and don't wanna work for the cheese so its up to my Pimp Daddy Jon Wiley to set me straight. Check out this classic shot of his ninja gangster pose. He is indeed quite the bad ass, fresh outta the slammer for a bum charge that ain't neva gonna stick yo! He's been getting his shit pushed inside the pokey for the past month or so and he is ready to give as good as he got while he was inside. I can take it though, I am a professional after all.

I'm gonna be sore tomorrow, but with Jonathan Wiley, Ninja Gangsta, there is never any excuse to not get my snatch back in circulation on the street. I'm gonna be working hard while hardly working. Hard to believe my life in Montreal has turned into this pimp n ho routine, but sometimes a nigga gotta eat!

Jaime "The Raven" Whalen; Ready For Action!

Here I am in full costume, getting ready for an exciting night of fighting crime. The criminals that lurk in their hillbilly pickup trucks are no match for "The Raven". . Keeping my identity secret is one of my top priorities. No one must ever find out who I am. They must never know I am really Jaime Whalen! Oops! I really do suck at keeping secrets! I guess I really do have loose lips.

Back On My Back; Jaime Whalen Dressed For Work

Yes it has been a good week for me! Some times it takes hard work to get the cheese, but Jaime Whalen is a smart mouse! I'm not really a mouse you know, actually people call me "The Raven". To be quite honest no one but me calls me "The Raven". It's kinda like I'm a super hero and I have a secret identity.

It's like this; during the day I play Jaime Whalen, mild mannered bitch, spending my days sleeping and fearing the eventual knock at the motel door telling me to pay up or get out.

As night descends or my phone rings, which ever comes first, I go out in the dark dressed as "The Raven"; ready to battle another fat bastard for a quick buck. Sometimes I submit them with a devious Whack Attack; others I have to rely on the Ol Dutch Rudder to get the job done. Either way "The Raven"always gets the cash baby!