What It Takes To Get Jaime Whalen Off

What the hell is going on with the world today? I used to get work like it was going out of style. I could pick up the phone and get myself on my back with my eyes closed and my legs open. These days it seems like all the freaks are coming out. Yesterday Jaime Whalen had to take the matzah balls all the way down to the chin for me to get my shekels. We are talking about getting pumped like a pig just just to get my ham and cheese. I love the metaphors for getting pounded on by the local Montreal riff raff. Another french guy this week wanted to play the farm animal game. Its real weird how all the frenchies seem to wanna play this same game. He sets me up piggy style and then just goes town on my back bacon. The whole time he keeps yelling "Oui-Oui" like a pig in shit! I really do have to work like a pig some days. Speaking of shit.... oh wait, that is a story for another day!

Anyway, if anyone out there wants to get the Jaime Whalen early bird special, I'm going to be available all day. Just drop Pimp Daddy Jonathan Wiley a line at Jenny Mantler Enterprises. Our lines are open and my man is just waiting to take your call!

Jaime Whalen Hard at Work

It's not all fun and games here in Montreal, although stupid games do happen to be one of Jaime Whalen's many specialties. Here I am hard at work, trying to get me some $$$ to pay da bills. It must be the cold outside, for some reason no one is calling me tonight so I gotta make some calls and get back to being on my back instead of sitting here...on my back....Dammit! why is no one calling back? Don't tell me I shaved my snatch for no reason! You might think I'm going to give up but that's not Jaime Whalen style, no way! I will get a cow to milk tonight even if I have to pull out the God damn Yellowpages and call every number!

Jamie Whalen; I Touch Myself

Some days you just gotta do things yourself. When I feel a bit frisky and can't find any man meat or a thick vegetable I just check out my favorite source of inspiration; the internet!. This is one of the hottest videos I have ever seen! Look at this picture of me watching the video!

Heard A New Joke Today, I Think?

So today I'm giving this new guy the 15 minute special, which is one of the new promotions here at Jenny Mantler Enterprises, where we aim to please, but insist on payment up front. Sorry I need plug my business, or I will be our only employee forever LOL! Anyways I'm whacking this moron with all my might and he finally covers my face in his man juice. When he's done he tells me real serious like, "10 million of my kids are dying on your face and you aren't trying to save any of them. You're a cold hearted bitch."

Jaime Whalen Back in Saskatoon Baby!

So I decided to go back to Saskatoon to have a late Christmas with my kids. I have to admit I sometimes feel like a bad mother for not spending any time with them. I hope one day they appreciate all that I never did for them. Let it never be said that Jaime Maureen Whalen didn't teach her children how to be independent.

Anyways, here is a quick story before I leave. Last night I decided to have a little party with my man. I know I have many men but at this time of year I like to spend quality time with someone who really cares enough about me to punch me out once in a while. So we are drinkin' the hard stuff, my favorite kind; Absolute Vodka. I say I'm sober forever, but every once in a while I gotta let loose and drink a bit. We drank for hours, until all of a sudden the bottle was almost empty. There was only about 1 shot left. I decided to try something I saw on TV one time. I took the last shot from the bottle up my bum with a funnel! It kinda tickled my ass, I think, but that may have been my man. It really worked and I was flying for a few minutes then Jaime Whalen passed out. Anyways I woke and boy did my ass ever HURT! The worst part is that when I woke up my man thought it would be funny to put his meat puppet in my mouth. I forgot that Vodka always makes his pole smell like ass for some strange reason. It tasted so gross I coulnd't take more than 10 mintues of it.

Jaime Whalen and Jon Wiley; On A Mission

Sometimes smart people do stupid things and other times its stupid people making the best moves. Jaime Whalen is joining forces with Jon Wiley for the latest episode of losers living large. Tonight is the night we are going on a mission to seek and destroy!

Jamie "The Raven" Whalen is Awesome!

Some people bring out the best in Jamie "The Raven" Whalen and most of the time this is because they have the bling. It's not to be materialistic or anything, but if you don't have at least $130 there is no way you are gonna put your trouser troll inside me. This number is somewhat negotiable if I'm fiending for the pipe. Let's be fair though, I have bills to pay and they won't pay themselves will they? Actually they do, all I have to do is complain about them and they go away. This mystic power is called the siren song of Jamie "The Raven" Whalen and it works best on older men who have little control of their second head. I just scream and cry until money appears, sweet huh? I don't know what makes me so bad ass. I don't want to seem vain but I really am quite awesome!