Jamie Whalen; Fiend To The Pipe

Every night before I,Jamie Maureen Whalen, go to bed I promise myself I will try to be a better person and respect my froends and family. I promise myself I will call my kids and hear their sweet voices and spend my time working for a better future for myself. I have wasted so much of my life on drugs doing nothing but whoring myself to get some cash for a quick fix for me and my pimp daddy, I tell myself every night before I go to sleep that tomorrow I will do more with my pitiful life. Then the light comes and I feel the sick feeling in my stomach and I don't want to do anything but sleep forever. Finally I reluctantly drag my ass outta bed and hit the pipe. Then the monster inside come out and I become the Pipe Fiend! I can make "Requiem for A Dream" seem like a romantic comedy! Seriously, I have done some things I'm not really proud of, but when you gotta feed the need for speed you will need to taste the salty seed!

This is me this morning;

Jaime Whalen Works Hard Baby!!

I like to think I am a hard working chick, yes indeed I ride the pole to fill the hole in my soul.

This hard working lifestyle is the reason that I manage to post once a month without fail, except winter months, which I reserve for many a night of Ravenesque adventure. If you don't know by now why they call Jaime Whalen "The Raven" check out some of my previous posts.

A few of my regular guys have recently pointed out that ravens are black, not red. So to better get into the full out ball washing and ass munchin' RAVEN mode I dyed my hair black. The boys are lovin' it!

Now I feel like Jaime Whalen the emo raven.

Jamie Whalen Carpet Munching

Have gents and germs, welcome back to me! I've been out of town for a few weeks. No, not visiting my kids like a Mom should, but burying my face in the bush, if you know what The Raven Jamie Whalen is talkin about! Back in my days in the can I used to be a pretty tight piece of ass, so the ladies used to like to get to know me during free time. I know some of my readers may be shocked to knowI did time back in the day, but my life is something that I must be proud of, if not, why would I spend all my time thinking about myself? Anyway, this is my new bitch Diamond Dallas Daze, she could suck the chrome off a bumper, which may come in handy because I plan on getting a car soon, stay tuned for an update on my auto situation. For now enjoy a couple pics of me and my new piece of beef Diamond Dallas Daze!

Jaime Whalen Trying to Get Clean

There are some days that it is hard to look yourself in the mirror. It feels like today I'm having a tough time getting the smell of whore to wash off. It's not easy being Jaime Whalen sometimes. Saskatoon seems like a distant memory.

Jenny Mantler Quicky!

I know that most of my readers check out the Jaime Whalen blog for my witty commentary and acute observations about life. Jenny Mantler is quite the intellectual when I'm converating, I'll tell ya what!

Ok, for real, have a look at some sweet pics I just took, I know none of you care what Jenny Mantler has to say. Truth be told my own thoughts bore me to tears sometimes, mostly cause all I have to think about is a life of waste and regret. Time to get baked and beat my smelly cat senseless!

What It Takes To Get Jaime Whalen Off

What the hell is going on with the world today? I used to get work like it was going out of style. I could pick up the phone and get myself on my back with my eyes closed and my legs open. These days it seems like all the freaks are coming out. Yesterday Jaime Whalen had to take the matzah balls all the way down to the chin for me to get my shekels. We are talking about getting pumped like a pig just just to get my ham and cheese. I love the metaphors for getting pounded on by the local Montreal riff raff. Another french guy this week wanted to play the farm animal game. Its real weird how all the frenchies seem to wanna play this same game. He sets me up piggy style and then just goes town on my back bacon. The whole time he keeps yelling "Oui-Oui" like a pig in shit! I really do have to work like a pig some days. Speaking of shit.... oh wait, that is a story for another day!

Anyway, if anyone out there wants to get the Jaime Whalen early bird special, I'm going to be available all day. Just drop Pimp Daddy Jonathan Wiley a line at Jenny Mantler Enterprises. Our lines are open and my man is just waiting to take your call!

Jaime Whalen Hard at Work

It's not all fun and games here in Montreal, although stupid games do happen to be one of Jaime Whalen's many specialties. Here I am hard at work, trying to get me some $$$ to pay da bills. It must be the cold outside, for some reason no one is calling me tonight so I gotta make some calls and get back to being on my back instead of sitting here...on my back....Dammit! why is no one calling back? Don't tell me I shaved my snatch for no reason! You might think I'm going to give up but that's not Jaime Whalen style, no way! I will get a cow to milk tonight even if I have to pull out the God damn Yellowpages and call every number!